Silly as it sounds, I've forgotten how to pray. I can still say a blessing on food and offer a public prayer in church. Evening and morning prayers with Kevin don't seem to be a problem either. What I'm struggling with is when I pray by myself. My mind wanders, sometimes I fall asleep, I'm repetitive, and I don't feel any kind of connection to Deity. The Bible Dictionary (located at the back of LDS scriptures) explains that many difficulties about prayer are the result of forgetting or not understanding that God is our father and we are his children. Furthermore, "prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other." I feel like I would be a better wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, all around person if I were having more meaningful prayers, discovering God's will for me and aligning myself to that.
Here's the plan: The Gratitude Experiment
Rules:
1. Pray at least in the evening and morning by myself.
2. Express gratitude for my blessings--specifically not generally.
3. Don't ask for anything. (I do still continue to ask for blessing in family prayers).
The goals:
1. Be better at recognizing how the Lord helps me everyday.
2. Be more appreciative for the wonderful people in my life.
3. Align myself with God so that He can help me know what to do and how to help others. Elder Bednar shared an example of how he and his family knew how to help friends struggling through a tragedy by expressing only gratitude in prayer.
How it is working (only been at it two days)
I think I am more grateful throughout the day for little things that happen. I've had to find new ways to pray for people I love and about when I need help. So, instead of praying for blessings for a specific friend I've expressed gratitude for her loyalty, sense of humor, and desire to uplift others. In a way, I'm still asking that things work for her benefit, but I'm also reminding myself how lucky I am to have such a good friend and I think that will make me a better friend to her. Rather than ask for more help with my pending orals, I'm thanking Heavenly Father for the willingness of others to help me, for the opportunity to be in school, for the love of reading and learning my parents taught me. Focusing on the things the Lord has already done for me and thanking Him for them is calming my nerves about the next step (sort of.)
This plan is a work in progress, but I hope it will help me feel reconnected to the Lord through personal prayer. If you've felt a similar way and overcome a different way, do share!
3 comments:
First of all--awesome dinner last Sunday Laura! The homemade rolls and chocolate chip and walnut cookies were especially delicious!
You are spiritually sensitive to recognize that you want more meaningful prayers. Most people are not, which gives you a head start. You may remember the story Uncle Todd told of his praying to know if there was anything in his life he needed to be forgiven for, and three distinct things came into his mind. He went to the three people he may have offended and asked forgiveness. The point is, that by seeking to have more effectual prayers, we are led to learn how and what to pray for.
It is a lifelong quest, but we can become better at it. I know I fall into the trap of repetitive prayers. It helps me to think that there isn't anything I can't talk to the Lord about. Joseph Smith said, "Follow the directions of the Book of Mrrmon, and pray over, and for your families, your cattle, your flocks, your herds, your corn, and all that you possess; ask the blessings of God upon all your labors, and everthing you engage in."
May we all follow your example and become better prayers!
Dad
Thank you, Laura, for sharing this. I have been having some of the same feelings lately! I have thought a lot about Elder Bednar's example and was amazed that I could pray that way when I actually did it sincerely. I had to stop myself and rephrase a several times but it felt good and look forward to this becoming a habit!
I loved your dad's comment as well. I have a lot of work and things to make good better, and better best!!
I've enjoyed reading your blog and seeing your adorable baby girl!! Good luck with your dissertation. I am in awe of you for your determination and wish you the best!!
Amy Ehat Woolery
Fabulous idea! I'm going to copy you! Thanks for being inspiring
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